The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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