My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
