Already got asked if we're dating
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
