it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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