Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
