I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
