if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
