people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
