Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
