sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
