Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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