Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
