"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
