Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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