i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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