standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
