I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
