I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
