I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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