Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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