heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
