youre lurking in front of me
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
