Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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