Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize