And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize