Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
