Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize