In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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