is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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