So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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