You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
