Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
