I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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