I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
