Do vagina's smell?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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