he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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