I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
