Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
