Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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