i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
