i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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