Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
