shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize