I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
