I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
