I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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