it was like his penis was on wheels.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
