I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
How's work?
Spinning.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
