you win again, gameday.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
