Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I lost the right to judge tonight
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
