Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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