we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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