I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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