I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
