you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize