Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
