she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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