Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
