My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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