8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
