we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize