How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize