i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I looked at my own cervix.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
