if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
