Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
